Squirrels: A Political Allegory [UPDATED]

(cross-posted from Ambiance)

One morning early this month, I noticed that my cats were riveted by something outside the glass porch door.  Two sawed-off young squirrels, perfect miniatures not half the size of a grown one, plumy tails carried forward over their backs like comb-overs, were apparently taunting the cats -- leaping on the screen, running up and down it, all but sticking out their tongues and flapping tiny fingers.  They were either too young and dumb to know what a cat was, or they were smart enough to understand that these couldn't get at them.  They were having fun.

I had what a soft-hearted, mush-headed human being thinks is a good idea:  I threw a handful of birdseed on the porch from last year's failed bird feeder (which was, of course, taken over by squirrels) to keep them coming.  Everyone was having such a good time.  No harm, no foul.

And of course, they kept coming with a vengeance, sometimes two, sometimes just one, vacuuming up the birdseed and giving the cats' nervous systems a workout.

I don't know when it happened, but this morning I looked out and saw two young squirrels of very different sizes.  One was about 2/3 the size of an adult and the other was tiny, about 1/3 the size.  And lo and behold, the hefty one was driving away the little one.  He/she/it seemed almost more interested in defending its territory than in eating:  every time the tiny, obviously very hungry (to a human's imagination) squirrel ventured timidly towards the food, the big one aggressively chased it off.  Only then would the hefty one return to eating, literally scooping the seeds together with its paws and shoveling them into its mouth.

There are two possibilities here.  One is that we have two siblings, one of whom is succeeding at the other's expense.  Happens all the time in nature.  Two or three cubs or kits or chicks are born and the balance tips early on:  one or more gain an edge and use that greater strength to gain more and more strength until the the weak ones starve to death.  Baby birds of many species in the nest will even shove their weaker sibling overboard, or peck him/her to death.  Parents do not intervene.  It's a jungle out there, and you have to be capable of looking out for yourself.

The other possibility is that the little one is simply younger, a baby squirrel from another, later litter, and the big one is chasing away a genetically unrelated (or less-related) competitor.  In that case, it's just a matter of first come, first served.  Who said life was fair?

Having already screwed with nature by putting out this unnatural treasure trove of food, now what (if anything) do I do?  The point is not what I do, but the political correlates of my conflicting impulses.

Do I let the cats out?  You know what would happen -- not what I intended:  they would get the little one.  (But then at least its existence wouldn't be for naught.   They also serve who only die and are eaten.)

Do I intervene on behalf of the little one, driving the big one away?  This would be the liberal solution, but also the Christian one.  God created all and He loves the weak -- with their less obvious, less material strengths -- even more than the strong.  He just has an awfully funny way of showing it.  But He created soft-hearted humans and bags of birdseed to redress the imbalance.

Or do I (pretending I haven't already skewed things) "let nature take its course," even secretly admiring its ruthless efficiency at selecting the most resourceful and robust?

Is the big squirrel the better businessman who drives inefficient competitors out of town?  Or the amoral businessbrute who will do whatever it takes to succeed?  Is it Bill Gates, enforcing the de facto monopoly of mediocrity that he got by being first out of the gate?  Is it Wal-Mart, using the size it has already gained to prevent start-ups from getting market share?  Is it an African kleptocrat stealing all the aid while the intended beneficiaries starve?

What I do:  throw more handfuls of seed out there (bailing out General Motors?  no, that would be an old, toothless squirrel) in the hope that Biggie will get so full that he/she staggers off belching before all the food is gone.  And that's exactly what happens:  the little one gets a chance!  But whether because it is younger or weaker, it is indeed an inefficient eater, picking up seeds slowly, one at a time, and leaving before it has made much of a dent in the remainder.

You just can't help some squirrels.  Even God helps those who help themselves.

UPDATE: Just spoke to a friend, the same one referenced in the post on saving newspapers.  I helped him write a foundation mission statement, and in the process learned a great deal about the futility, if not harmfulness, of much development aid.  Out of the blue, he happened to tell me that in a project he once supported in Haiti, where an idealistic doctor is trying to produce peanut butter to nourish children’s brains in the crucial years up to age 5, even if they manage to get the peanut butter made and distributed to homes, the children’s stronger older siblings steal the peanut butter from the little ones and eat it themselves.

Comments

[Shaun]

Squirrels do just fine on their own. In fact, the smart ones hibernate when the going gets tough. Small birds do not have that luxury, so feeding them when snow covers the ground and temperatures are frigid is salutatory and they will pay you back in kind with the insects they eat and the lawns they aerate with theor peck-a-pecking in warm weather.

If birds weren't coming to your feeder but squirrels were, you might have taken the seed out into the woods and left it for whomever.

Please don't feed squirrels. Ever. Please don't play God with the animal world. Ever.

[Norma]

Bird seed (when not eaten by squirrels, rats and raccoons) helps feed weaker, less capable birds and also spreads disease because it brings species together that normally wouldn't be at the same source. Not a good thing for the bird population.

[amba]

Shaun, okay, I agree (this was mostly a thought exercise), but how come feeding squirrels is playing God and feeding birds isn't? (Unless you're a Manichaean who has a good god and a bad one.)

Norma: thanks. The bird feeder was a gift rather than a purchase. It came with a bag of sunflower seeds. Now we have a sugar-water feeder for hummingbirds; I have my doubts about that too. The hummingbirds got back from Central America last Thursday and they remembered where it was.

[shaun]

Hi Amba:

Yeah, the God thing is a bit skewed, but to be clear squirrels have the option of taking a long nap during harsh weather when their non-stashed food supplies run low but small birds do not stash and when the going gets tough, human intervention can make a difference.

I note this in the context of playing God with cats: We rescued a little semi-feral fellow who had been abandoned this past winter, the harshest in many years in the mountains. Nine weeks after he was trapped, taken to the vets and snipped, inoculated and wormed, he is learning to trust humans and is turning out to be a big-hearted lug.

Then again, he may end up eating birds and cats.

[amba]

But my hat off to you nonetheless.

[anonymous]

*This would be the liberal solution, but also the Christian one. *

?

I'm a Christian woman. Don't feed the birds or the squirrels in the good weather, amba. It's silly.

This "doing good" is about your entertainment and your cats. Leave the squirrels to find their own food this time of year. Birds too.

If I were more like you, I might suggest the Jewish secular solution (that's how you identify, right?) seems to be that it's all on you to control or provide for other animals in the kingdom. I suspect you'd respond with a "?" back.

[Janet]

Squirrels and I have become enemies. And the neighbour feeds them. They'll eat right out of his hand. And then they come decimate my flowerbeds.

Still, I can't help myself. I will drive away the crow and protect the baby squirrel until the danger is past. How can I harden my heart against the squeals of terror and the anguished cries of the mother? Way too much for me to handle.

I still wish the neighbour would stop feeding them. He has been doing so for years (who am I to deny an old man his pleasures?) and is probably single-handedly responsible for the high population density of rodents in this neighbourhood. I haven't even persuaded him to crack the shells on the peanuts so the beasties will eat them on the spot instead of uprooting my potted plants in an effort to bury them. (I can't put a trowel in the ground without digging up peanuts, it seems.)

I wish they weren't so cute. In moments of weakness, I've been known to hand over the stale Christmas nuts. There's no hope for me.

:o)

[karen]

LOL, Janet. Cuteness seems to work well for any species.

I'd make two piles of seed until the littlest looks bigger- then i'd buy my cats some animated toy that would end up driving me nuts. And, i'd never feed the squirrels again.

I like goldfinches, though. I buy thistle seed(freaking unbelievably expensive)and the chickadees can feed offn' it, as well. I hang the hummingbird feeder next to our bedroom window and i awaken to the wingbeats of hungry ruby-throated jewels. Or, high pitched-n angry squeaks of dominate males fighting off any and all competators- fierce little beggars, they are.

i am so glad to see your cross-posts (~sigh~); as i watch you nimbly skip w/two legs, your invisible 3rd having left no tell-tale scars, i nurse the loss of your face and your self like that of an amputee. C'est la vive. I might have gotten the last all wrong, but the sentiment is legible... enough.

[amba]

I'm sorry, Karen. Maybe if I had really grasped how much of a hangout this was for you and some others, I would have kept going. I could've just posted less often. I don't know what came over me. I just know I like it a lot when others post. And that couldn't happen here, for the simple practical reason that TypePad charges even more to allow multiple authors.

[karen]

That's ok, amba. You needed a break of your own and you even compromised that by re-inventing yourself. I just have to learn to be more flexible-- hey, i still get to visit you at Ambiance-- that's a blessing.

[amba]

Karen, I think it's just coming at a bad time for you because you're changing addresses in real life too!

[Lara Jane]

I love your post, the last comparison made me laugh.

It is easy to forget how much we really have in common with our fellow inhabitants on earth!