Post Coitem Omne Animal Triste Est

You may have seen my previous posts here and here about Masahiro Morioka, the Japanese philosopher and bioethicist -- my hero for unflinchingly baring his own psyche for the purposes of investigating male sexuality.

Well, he's now posted an English translation of the beginning of Chapter 2 of his book The Insensitive Man. He starts out talking about porn:

In all seriousness, this subject will become a bit dismal, but I hope that you will read with endurance and patience, because, without dealing with these issues, the sexuality of men cannot be talked about.

And in no time at all he's on to:

After the Ejaculation: The Sense of Being Alone

Morioka is careful to say that "there are a variety of male sexualities, and hence we are not able to talk about 'this is what men are like.' All I can talk about now is, 'this is what I am like.' Therefore, and also in this book, I want to write from the subject, 'I.'"

So, women, go here if you'd like a rare, uncensored look inside the psyche of one man who may or may not have something in common with other men.

Men, read it if you dare . . . and say it ain't so, if you can.

UPDATE: My good-guy readers may have recoiled from this material (see the Comments), but Morioka's writing, especially the part described here, does explain something about the behavior of a friend of mine.

It took him a long time to get his life together, with the help of AA and such. He hasn't had a girlfriend in quite a while, because he isn't interested -- on principle -- in anyone much over 30, and he's now over 50. He has a stash of pornography. So far, nothing terribly unusual. Sad, but not unusual.

A couple of times, though, I've tried to fix him up with somebody, and what's the first thing he says, as lonely as he is? "Send me her picture." A note of anxiety and threat enters his voice, as if he's guarding something: Don't expect me to give her the time of day if she's not my type -- in his case, a slim, boyish, dancer type. For someone else, it might be big breasts or whatever. The image is prior, the real woman has to audition for the fantasy role. (I use the word "audition" advisedly -- the whole history of Hollywood starlets and producers is in here.) The phrase that comes to mind is "Fidelity to the fetish." It's as if arousal is a god that demands to be invoked and propitiated, over and over, by a highly specific type of sacrifice. Or else what? Or it might not work? For a man like my friend (is he pathological? or is he just toward the extreme end of typical?), a relationship is only possible if the woman can be seen as approximating his ritual image, and if she deviates too far from it too often, it is she who will have to go.

So is there something potentially inhuman about male sexuality? And if so, how do you go about integrating it into a human life, an actual relationship? Imperfectly, I suppose. These are taboo questions. I think Morioka is very brave to confront them, and to risk the wrath of other men for telling their secrets and rousing their sleeping demons.

Comments

[wavemaker]

feh. The man's spending too much time thinking about it. Empty?

Feh.

[amba]

Well, that's what philosophers do, isn't it . . . "mental masturbation"?

Wow, I haven't heard "Feh" since my maternal grandmother died . . .

[nappy40]

Hmm.

[wavemaker]

LOL, lurnt it from Instapundit.

[amba]

Jeez -- I wonder where he learned it.

[karen]

I'd like to comment, but my husband says, "NO!!" Since I love him so much and abide by the vows and such of marriage, I'll consent. BUT... {;^P... maybe another time! Well, I guess I can say he agrees w/ *Feh!*

[amba]

It's almost a given that men are going to hate this work. Morioka may be gazing into an abyss that many men have glimpsed and gotten the hell away from. They are going to want to shoot the messenger. I don't like what Morioka reveals, and I don't know (nor does he) whether it applies to more than a small subset of men. But I admire his courage in confronting and confessing it. I wonder if his book ends with any thoughts about integrating male sexuality -- which can be an anarchic, desolating force for sure -- into male humanity. It's not something women can ever really understand, even after living with you guys for a lifetime.

[sleipner]

Hey Karen - that's what pseudonyms are for ;)