"If This Is a Free Country, Why Don't I Feel Free?"

Vicki Robin offered a workshop by that name, and nobody came. But if they had read her 4th of July blog post, an introduction to the new book she's just finishing, they would have been lined up around the block, as I'm convinced we will be to get our hands on the book. "Social innovator" Robin, the coauthor of Your Money Or Your Life (the book that coined the phrase "making a dying") and cofounder of the New Road Map Foundation, Sustainable Seattle, the Center for a New American Dream, the Simplicity Forum, the Conversation Cafes, Let's Talk America, and the Turning Tide Coalition, has put her finger on an unease and a thirst that had no name till now: the dark side of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness she calls "hyper-freedom."

Here's how she began on the 4th of July:

I love that sunny feeling [of blue skies, parades and expansive American freedom]. I love that most American part of myself: my optimistic, generous, can-do self. [ ... ]

But a fog has rolled in on freedom in America and before it rolls out for the day, yielding to sunshine, potlucks and parades, I want to reflect on the fog of self-centeredness, self-importance and overall self-ishness that now passes for freedom in America. Underneath the rhetoric, both on the streets and in the ‘halls of power’ you hear playground taunts. “It’s mine and I can do whatever I want with it. You can’t tell me what to do. I got here first and you can’t have it.” This bully freedom, entitlement freedom, numero-uno freedom has troubled me for a very long time. Almost as long as the can-do freedom, the generous freedom, the expansive, inventive, creative freedom has fueled my life.

Does that ring any bells? Robin goes on, hitting hard on that sore spot where it hurts so good:

The very hallmark freedoms that permit the sunny version of America have now gone hyper because we’ve made anything that limits us the enemy of our freedom. Limits, though, enable freedom. They shape and direct freedom. We all place boundaries to protect what we cherish and express what's within us. Art, design, houses, games, marriages, markets, traffic, values are generated by limits. Rather than talk intelligently about limits, though, we rail against them. We want to grow without limit. And this hyper-freedom is killing us.

Competition in an open and free marketplace has become hyper-competition, a war of all against all. From pre-school to board rooms, the competition for the few seats at the wee table is fierce. As the wealth gap increases, the race to occupy the top 10% gets more ruthless. If you want your kid to go to Harvard rather than flip burgers, gotta start his education early. Like in the womb. Birth is way too late.

Choice has gone hyper too. From being able to select from a range of products rather than one state issued pair of shoes, we’ve entered the era of oppressive, obsessive choosing – picking the right cell phone, internet service provider, car, computer, cereal, investment, vacation and on and on. And who has the time – we have to work 2 jobs to afford it all.

Which brings me to time. From the freedom to work hard to get ahead we’ve gone to hyper-speed: 24/7/365. If you don’t keep pace, someone else, right behind you, will get ahead of you. The need to exceed the speed of those you are competing with has us sacrificing sleep to keep up. As John deGraaf, founder of TAKE BACK YOUR TIME, contends, we need time to care – to love, parent, learn, worship – and as a society we are not time friendly. Even activists suffer, urgently keeping pace with the train-wrecks of injustice, war, global warming and more.

Each individual’s freedom to have, do or be what we want has become hyper-individualism, a burdensome loneliness of people cut loose from community, who pay for connection by bonding with companies that don’t care about them, eschewing churches then going to workshops and therapists to simply be heard, losing first loves and not knowing where to find the next one. The up and coming household is single. With cat. Like mine.

How many of our relationship, food, job, aging, money, insecurity, etc. problems are rooted in this hyper-freedom world where the only way we know to feel free is to get away from what holds us. It is harder to bond today. Harder to stay bonded. Harder to have job security, harder to care for our bodies and families, harder to find love because the forces of dissolution – away – are so much stronger than the forces of connection. The ties that bind immediately pinch – and we move on. Studies show that loneliness and isolation lead to body and soul disease and early death. We treat the symptoms, but do not question this toxic freedom that convinces us all that to be free is to be on top, at choice, on the go and on our own.

Hooked yet? You don't have to wait for the book. Keep reading here.

Comments

[Walrus]

Excellent stuff! Would that this were a uniquely American affliction. But it's not. The unquestioned worship of the self and the resulting chronic dissatisfaction of that very same self is very much part of our lifestyle too.

[amba]

It can be argued that that's because you've been infected by your big, self-important neighbor.

[realpc]

"Each individual’s freedom to have, do or be what we want has become hyper-individualism, a burdensome loneliness of people cut loose from community"

America was born out of the desire to break from the restrictions of the past, to be free and create your own life. Settlers wanted freedom from religious oppression, from domination, from a fixed class structure.

It was liberalism and faith in progress that started this great experiment. At first only rich white males counted as individuals, but gradually liberal ideals extended to non-whites and women, more recently to homosexuals.

So here we are, the results of an experiment in freedom. Maybe liberal philosophy needs some re-thinking. But we won't give back any of our freedoms.

Individual freedom must eventually lead to isolation. People give up on marriages that have become restrictive or annoying, because they have the freedom to leave. It's even easier to give up on annoying or demanding relatives.

It is no one's fault, and I don't see any possible solutions. Democrats blame Republicans and Republicans blame Democrats. But this is just the way we had to evolve.